Sta.sh
This fanfic is a Dave x reader
I'm sorry I didn't write it in the title, I ran out of space. <:33
There is also swearing in this particular series
If you read Homestuck (the webcomic) then this should not be a problem for you
This contains Karezi/Karkezi(Karkat/Terezi)
If you don't like this ship, I would like you to try it out anyway, because you might just get into it!
In this story, your typing quirk capitalizes all letters, and changes "t"s to 2s and "l"s to 7s. I tried to incorporate a typing quirk of your own, but this is very difficult, and I have not heard a way to do so without messing up the story.
Alrighty! I hope you enjoy! :33
Of Redroms, Blackroms, and Sloppy Makeouts
"Hey, (nickname)," Karkat called, eyes glued to his hivetop screen. The said troll was wearing one of his spare boxers (and a pair of Feferi's swimsuits) and was trolling someone through her portable hivetop while lounging in his repuracoon. "Troll Terezi for me. I'm working on a fucking awesome code and I can't afford to take a fucking break for something as fucking trivial as this."
"Fine, fine," (y/n) rolled her bright (eye color) eyes as she clicked Terezi's trollhandle on Trollian. "You owe me. Dinner. Tonight. Cook something good."
"Yeah, sure whatever," The male mumbled under his breath as he typed a few more letters, then cursing in frustration, deleted the line. The other raised her eyebrows before typing into the chatbox.
(trollHandle) [__] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]:
[__]: HEY 2EREZI
[__]: HEY YOU 2HERE
GC: yeah, rezi's gone finding red paint and she wont take shit from trolls trolling her like some kind of ironic wannabe douchebag
[__]: GEEZ, DAVE, NO NEED 2O GE2 YOUR IRONIC PAN2IES IN A 2WIS2. KARKA2 JUS2 WAN2S 2O 2A7K 2O 2EREZI CAUSE HE'S 2OO BUSY WORKING ON SOME CODE 2O 2RO77 PEOPLE
GC: sure ill leave a message
GC: what shitty message would you like to leave for the honorable redglare's blind as fuck descendent today, ma'am
[__]: YOU CRACK ME UP, DAVE-HUMAN.
GC: i try
[__]: YES YOU DO. GIVE ME A MOMEN2 OF SI7ENCE SO I CAN ASK KARK7ES WHA2 HE WAN2S
GC: sure, knock yourself out
"Karkat! Dave's on Terezi's trollian cause she's trying to find red paint. What do you want me to tell him?" (y/n) called, sticking her head out of the coon. The minute Karkat heard those words, he tensed up considerably.
"Oh my gog, what the fuck did that douchebag son of a bitch do to Terezi? Those are her fucking GLASSES for fucks sake, they're probably having sloppy makeouts and crap. Tell him to stay the fuck away from the fucking trolls and go have sloppy makeouts with Jade instead!!" Karkat practically yelled, glaring at his screen. (y/n) grinned nervously and slowly went back into the repuracoon.
"Okay, okay, calm the fuck down Karkles," The gray-skinned troll mumbled under her breath before going back into trollian.
[__]: HEY DAVE
GC: what did he say ma'am the receptionist awaits your shitty message
[__]: YEAH, UH, KARKA2 WAN2S 2O KNOW WHA2 YOU DID 2O 2EREZI CAUSE YOU'RE 2YPING ON HER G7ASSES AND ARE YOU 2WO HAVING S7OPPY MAKEOU2S, 2HA2 YOU PROBAB7Y ARE, AND YOU SHOU7D S2AY 2HE FUCK AWAY FROM THE 2RO77 GIR7S AND JUS2 GO HAVE S7OPPY MAKEOU2S WI2H JADE
GC: woah there im not having any sloppy makeouts with this troll girl bro
GC: no need to be such a prick
[__]: SO IS 2EREZI BACK YE2? OR DO I S2I77 HAVE 2O CONFER WI2H YOU
GC: …
GC: yeah, ill go get her
[__]: 2HANKS I GUESS
GC: H3Y WH4T5 TH3 M4TT3R
[__]: KARKA2 WAN2S 2O 2A7K 2O YOU
GC: Y34H? WHY? ?>:/
[__]: I DON'2 KNOW, HE'S 2OO BUSY CREA2ING CODES 2HOUGH
GC: W3LL WHY DONT YOU 4ND K4RK4T COM3 OV3R
GC: YOU GUY5 C4N F1N4LLY S33 HOW C4N TOWN I5 NOW >:]
[__]: SURE, LEMME CHANGE OU2 OF KARKA2S BOXERS
GC: WHY?
[__]: HIS COON'S REAAA777Y COMFY, CAUSE HE NEVER USES I2. I S2O7E A PAIR OF HIS C7O2HES CAUSE I DIDN'2 WAN2 2O GE2 MINE'S WE2
GC: SMOOTH MOV35, (y/n) >:]
[__]: 2HANKS, COMING OVER NOW.
GC: SM3LL YOU IN A F3W
GC: H3H3H3
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling (trollHandle) [__]
"Karkat, we're going to Terezi's hive," (y/n) announced once she changed back into her normal clothes. Karkat grumbled.
"What. Why," he turned around so he could glare properly. The other troll rolled her eyes before leaning against the wall, her (eye color) orbs staring into the other's crimson black.
"We're going to go see can town. If you don't go, they're probably going to continue having sloppy makeouts. Do you want that?" She reasoned, before thinking about the consequences. 'Maybe I shouldn't have said that," she thought afterwards.
"WHAT. YOU DID NOT FUCKING TELL ME THIS. THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS, WE ARE SO GOING THERE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I HAVE SOME DOUCHEBAGS TO BEAT TO PULP," Karkat yelled, scowling as he stood and stalked out the door. (y/n) groaned.
"Please don't," muttered the female troll before captchaloging her portable hive-top in her nexus-modus. She made a mental note to stick it back into her hood later, before hurrying out the door after the steaming troll.
Karkat, followed by (y/n) (who caught up to him after running down the hall), stomped up to the transportalizer pad that was labeled Terezi in teal sharpie. Stepping on, he was so not prepared for what lied beyond in her hive.
The world shimmered into existence in front of Karkat and later, (y/n),'s eyes. Multicolored paint covered everything, in most quantity, red paint, and smack dab in the middle of the floor, there was the resident coolkid in the middle of a make-out session with a certain teal blooded, blind troll. Karkat froze, as did Dave and Terezi. (y/n)'s eyes widened, then darkened but otherwise, she had no reaction.
"Gee guys, couldn't you wait for later after we left?" the other girl deadpanned, eyes scanning the room for something else to look at. "Well….this is awkward."
The room stayed silent otherwise, nobody daring to move a muscle (apart from (y/n)).
"Yeah, uh, Dave, look forward to being beat up, and…..oh wow you guys really aren't going to move, are you?" The (eye color) orbed girl leaned against the dry paint on the only dry wall. Dave frowned slightly, before slooowwllyyy getting up and dusting himself off, eyes fixed on Karkat. Terezi crawled to the side of her recuperacoon, leaning against it. Something seemed to click in Karkat's mind all of a sudden, and (y/n) mumbled "oh fuck" under her breath.
"….you….YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG ASSLICKER!! I TOLD YOU TO STAY. THE. FUCK. AWAY. FROM. HER. AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING LISTEN. DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT A CONSEQUENCE IS?! OH I BET YOU FUCKING DIDN'T, BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER LUSUS ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FATHER LUSUS DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! THEN HE WENT AND DIED YOUR FUCKING BAD. AT LEAST MINE HAD GIVEN A FUCK, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Karkat yelled, snapped, growled, and did everything related to such ways of speaking. He stalked up to the Strider and smacked the shades off of his face. "LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE AND THOSE MUTANT HUMAN EYES. WHAT KIND OF HUMAN HAS RED EYES ANYWAY?! YOU AND YOUR FUCKING UGLY ASS, THAT'S WHO. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S FUCKING FLUSHED FOR YOU. AND THE TROLL YOU'RE FLUSHED FOR? HA! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, FUCKASS, SHE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE YOU."
(y/n) tiptoed quietly to over where Terezi was, and sat down next to her. Karkat was still yelling in his face, but once he started punching and kicking, it was time to make him stop. Gog knows what would happen if they tried to constrain a pissed off Karkat.
"'Rezi? Are you okay?" the other girl whispered, circling her arms around the blind troll and papping her shoulder gently. "It's okay, I'll make him stop soon. If you want, could you explain what was happening?"
"….thanks (nickname). I know, I guess I get carried away sometimes, don't I?" Terezi uncurled an arm from her knees and reached over to grab pyralspite. The dragon plushie squeaked when she squeezed it, hugging it to herself. "What happened...I think I just wanted to see how it would be like to kiss someone. I-I'm not sure really, and I guess it just escalated quickly…"
"Haha, I know how it feels. Remember back when we were grubs, we used to bicker all the time, but in the end we always teamed up against the other grubs for food?" asked (y/n), uncurling her arms and tilting her head to look at Terezi.
"And Karkles was so small and vulnerable, we had to protect him, even though he protested all the way," Pyralspite squeaked again, as Terezi laughed slightly, despite the yells in the background. (y/n) was suddenly reminded of the scene in front of her, and snapped her head up. Karkat was practically tearing into Dave with his fists and teeth, but surprisingly, Dave looked dazed, frustrated and….rejected? He just took all the blows, one by one, without doing anything about it.
"Bring Dave to his room after we leave," (y/n) whispered quickly to Terezi before rushing towards Karkat. Clenching her teeth, she ran behind the male troll and wrapped her arms around his stomach, then stepping backwards, she pulled him off of the human.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, (nickname)?! THIS FUCKING DOUCHEBAG WAS FUCKING HAVING A SLOPPY MAKEOUT SESSION WITH A TROLL, AFTER I FUCKING TOLD HIM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY!!! LET ME SHOW HIM WHAT A FUCKING CONSEQUENCE IS!! THIS IS GOING AGAINST WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO AS A LEADER, (nickname), WHICH IS TO FUCKING PROTECT THE PEOPLE I'M FUCKING ASSIGNED TO!!! SO I COMMAND YOU TO LET ME GO, ET!! OR I FUCKING SWEAR THERE WILL BE FUCKING CONSQUENCES!!!!" Karkat raged, glaring at the girl restraining him but not hitting her. (y/n) smiled apologetically at the strider, who didn't respond, and dragged the two of them to the transportalizer pad. With a flash, the two of them were gone.
Terezi sighed, picking herself off the ground. She walked over to Dave, and slowly helped him up, not saying a word. Grabbing his bloody shades off the ground, Dave stumbled towards his transportalizer pad (with the help of Terezi) and collapsed on the bed once they got there.
"Good luck," Terezi whispered, before going back to her respiteblock.
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Thanks again! :33